After a massive screwup yesterday, FedEx (it wasn't their fault) brought me my new cellphone. Actually they brought me a box full of geegaws, gimcracks, accessories, manuals, contracts, things I don't know what to do with and assorted other "stuff" in the middle of which was another box that actually contained my new phone.
I had all this stuff delivered to my office since Verizon prefers that someone sign for it. Pity they don't also insist that their fulfillment center employees can read and type English. Anyway, I had to schlep it home on the bus last night, before I could actually assemble the various pieces and charge up the batteries. After a big delay on the turnpike due to an overturned 18-wheeler somewhere near Newark International Airport, I got home at 7:20 and started to piece it all together.
I started out by charging up the batteries in everything (the phone and the Bluetooth earpiece). That took all night.
This morning I gathered up the phone and headpiece, found the requisite paperwork and headed off to work, anxious to activate my new phone.
I followed the directions and entered all the information via the keypad. Then, out of the blue, Veronica Verizon appeared on the line (this was a land line, which you must use to activate your cellphone). She wanted to help me and to "point out a few features", such as how to have money magically removed from my bank account and inserted in Verizon's bank account every month, at the touch of a few buttons.
Well, that was exactly how I wanted to spend my morning, listening to that crap. I just wanted to make a call but first... we had to "join" the headset to the phone.
I navigated the menu system and found the correct option. I work in a law firm. The phone got busy and immediately found a half-dozen Blackberries that it wanted to sync up with with. But it didn't see my Bluetooth. I shut everything off and tried it again.
Meanwhile, the script that Veronica was working from was obviously outdated since all the menu choices she said I should be seeing weren't there and I was seeing a bunch of choices she was clueless about.
Never mind, though. Within a few minutes my Bluetooth was synched up to the phone and we made some test calls, outgoing and incoming. The headset worked fine.
I finished up my business with Veronica, thanked her for all her "help", hung up and started at the phone.
It was time for the acid test. I picked it up and flipped it open (it looks like the old "communicators" from Star Trek (classic)). I pressed the numbers for my Sobriety Advisor's cellphone and hit "Send." I heard it dial and, on the 4th ring, he answered.
He's on Verizon, too. We can yak forever because of that. This is called "IN" calling by Verizon. You can talk for hours and not use any airtime or longdistance for it.
But we only chatted for a few seconds before he had to go back to work.
So I carefully hung up and sat the phone on my desk, where it's sat for the last 6 hours.
And the damn thing hasn't rung once. WHAT THE HECK AM I PAYING FOR?