Thursday, April 21, 2011


How can you tell if someone is expressing interest in you?  No, seriously, I mean it.  How can you tell?

Being gay and of a "certain age" means having grown up without the benefit of acquiring the usual social skills that heteronormative kids get when they start dating in high school.  While they were busy doing that, I was busy hiding in my bedroom waiting to be rescued.

Now, years later and without the benefit of drugs or alcohol, I find myself trying to decipher the words and body language of somebody I like.  A lot.  Who is cute.  And smart.  And an ex-actor like me.  Yesterday, for example, he asked me what I was "doing for Easter."  I looked at him blankly and said, "nothing."  He then proceeded to tell me that he was going to a gay-friendly church downtown and how inclusive the place was and how comfortable he felt there, etc.  I nodded and thought, "well, how nice for you -- Catholicism caused me nothing but self-hatred and guilt.  But by all means go and enjoy!  Who am I to criticize."

I thought, later, "You big dope.  He was practically THROWING an invitation your way."  I think.  I'm not sure.  Boy, wrap up some obliqueness with some low self-esteem, and you'll wind up like me -- clueless.

If any of the regulars are out there, I'd appreciate some advice.