I've gotten boxed into a corner.
A couple of years ago a buddy of mine in my home group made a bet with me. He'd just spent a half-dozen years being a "househusband" while his wife, a high-powered poobah in something or other, was the breadwinner in the family. He stayed home, cooked, cleaned and, in between, got sober.
"If I ever get a job, you'll start dating", he said.
Well, that seemed innocuous (and improbable) enough. I knew enough about him to know that he'd never give up his cushy gig as wife and mother, notwithstanding his successful previous career at a national broadcasting network here in NYC.
"Done" I said.
Long story short, the SOB decided to try his hand at investment banking and damned if he didn't just close his first deal!
It's not the dating I mind, but there was a subsequent codicil to the bet. That if he was successful at becoming an investment banker, I'd give serious thought to going to work with him in putting deals together.
He could scarcely contain his glee when he called me with the good news this morning.
I don't know whether to jump off the Verrazano Bridge or to toss myself under a downtown express train.
After all, what's wrong with living alone, like a hermit, in sublime isolation with a virtually do-nothing job that pays "okay" for somebody who's 25 and just starting out in life?
I'm scheduled to speak at a 12-Step meeting tomorrow evening after work, at 6:30 p.m., here on the upper east side of Manhattan. So I asked my friend if I could spend the night with he and his wife, who live right over the river in Queens. He agreed, as long as he and I have "the chat."
Well, there's one good thing about this. At least I won't spend all my time between now and tomorrow night worrying myself sick over speaking before a bunch of strangers at a 12-Step meeting.
No. Instead I'll spend all my time worrying about the impending conversation with my friend over my future plans.
I HATE thinking about the future. And I'm clueless when it comes to planning.
I'd much rather run away. Just like I've done a thousand times before.