Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Do Unto Others

"Folterkameraden" Copyright © Austin Cline.

I've already said everything that I need to say about the events at Virginia Tech. No need to add anything to it.

Today I want to talk about my favorite subject, me (of course). Specifically, I want to talk about how sometimes I "talk" a better game than I actually "play."

As you know, I belong to a 12-Step program. Like most 12-Step programs we have a tradition of sponsorship, wherein an old-timer (such as me) will attempt to guide a newcomer through the 12 Steps of recovery.

There's an awful lot of misconception about the role of a sponsor, especially amongst newcomers. I have to admit that when I was new, I was still looking for "daddy", much as I had been in all male/male relationships (friends and lovers) over the years. I didn't know any better. Now I do.

Now I have sponsees who are much the same as I was when I was new. They're needy. They're looking for Good Orderly Direction ... from me. They think that I'm daddy, Dear Abby, Bank America, Advice to the Lovelorn, Pope Benedict and their financial consultant, all rolled up into one.

My job, though, is to take them through the 12 Steps, not to "co-sign" their bullshit, or to waste hours of my time listening to them pour out all their "drama" to me in the hopes that I'll have magical words of wisdom which will instantly "cure" all their self-imposed chaos.

In short, they just don't get it and I ... in my high and mighty 9 years of recovery, forget that I didn't get it either, and that it took tremendous patience on the parts of MY sponsors, who DID take the time to listen to my drama, who DID act as daddy, who WERE there when I was needy, in order to get me to this point of high and mightiness.

I forget.

So, what was I saying about "je me souviens" last week? That I remember? HAH! What a joke. My remembrance seems to extend itself only to the limits of my patience. Limits which obviously need some work.

So, I must not only remember, today, but I must also strive to do unto others, as was done unto me.

If I want to stay sober, I'd better remember that.

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