Friday, June 20, 2008

The Big Six-Oh

Let's just get this over with. I'll be 60 on Sunday.

There. I said it. 60.

Here's a recent photo:



This is how they count to 60 on Fire Island and in Provincetown and Rehoboth:

"57, 58, 59, ten-thousand..."

Gay people aren't supposed to live to be 60. If we're truly fabulous (and drunken sluts) we should die, fabulously, by the time we're 40 ... or 45 if you really stretch it.

So here are my weekend plans (and if you want to make God laugh, just tell her your plans):

Saturday:

7:00 a.m. drop off cleaning and dry-cleaning. pick up same from last week.
7:15 a.m. sit down with the Saturday NYTimes, a couple of trail-mix bars and a steaming cup of soon-to-be-a-thing-of-the-past coffee.
9:00 a.m. freshen up a great deal.
10:00 a.m. attend a 12-Step meeting (with my sponsor) in Princeton
11:30 a.m. haircut in Princeton at "La Jolie" or, as I call it, "La Faggy."
12:15 p.m. pick up a new air conditioner for the living room at the Home Depot on Route 1.
(maybe a movie somewhere in here)
4:00 p.m. arrive at my sponsor's house so he, his wife and mother-in-law can take me out for a sober evening of turning 60. As opposed to how I'd LIKE to spend the evening.
10:00 p.m. bed

Sunday

All day Death Watch in bed; blinds closed; phone unplugged; giant bags of Ruffles potato chips and cases of flavored water from Tarjay, strewn about the room.

Monday

Old Age.

I feel better already.

2 comments:

Kelly said...

Must be the difference between gay men and bi women... I really looking forward to 60. I have to wait nearly 10 years for it, too. Sigh.

Well, happy birthday. You might be getting older, but you're also getting better. :)

Bev Sykes said...

You're comments about being 60 just make this 65 year old feel SO wonderful. Try to have a happy birthday, in spite of yourself!

For someone who hasn't had a date since the Nixon administration, I can't understand why "appearance" is such a big deal anyway! Isn't having a circle of friends who love & respect you enough?