Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Viscious Queens & Gastric Bypasses

I had a lovely time in Rehoboth this past weekend. The hotel was full of nearly 400 viscious queens sober, friendly LGBTs from Maine to Virginia and westward to Illinois. They all hardly noticed my bad eye, sloppy jeans, flabby ass and sagging tits inner beauty, which glows brighter with every passing decade year.

Sunday afternoon finally sadly arrived and it was time to bid a fond go fuck yourselves farewell to my loving soulmates in recovery.

60 minutes later I was at my sisters house in Newark, Delaware, sponging a free meal out of her and my brother-in-law.

After mooching some leftovers "for later" I headed home to my own bed. Thank God. I did have a nice time, and my hotel room was faboo (I had an oceanfront room), but I do miss my nice, ultra-firm mattress when I travel.

Monday was a "no-stress" day for me which involved little more than a meeting, shopping and napping.

Tuesday was busy, although I was still off work. I had an appointment with Dr. Diabetes up at Robert Wood Johnson Hopsital in New Brunswick. I was armed with all the articles I'd been saving for the last six weeks about treatments for diabetes. He was over an hour late to see me. it turned out that all of his other patients had ALSO come armed for their visits and they were all demanding changes in their treatments.

"Look," I said to him, "I'm going to be 60 years old this summer. With any luck I'll have another 25 or 30 years... and I do NOT want to spend them, as so many members of my family did, blind and limbless in wheelchairs parked in state run institutional hellholes. If there's a snowballs chance in hell that having gastric bypass will help me avoid that, SIGN ME UP!"

He smiled and said that I was an ideal candidate and that he would have no problem whatsoever going to bat for me with the insurance goons, provided, however (I've been around lawyers too long), that I get my cardiologist to agree (that my heart can stand the strain of surgery). He added that it was likely that I would lose 50-75 pounds, that I would be able to go totally off my diabetes medications, that my cholesterol would drop like a rock, that I'd feel better, that there'd be certain other intangible (and tangible) benefits and that he wholeheartedly advocated me having it done.

I was floored. Needless to say I called my cardio guy's office as soon as I got home (gotta program all these guys into my cellphone!). He's out sick. WHAT? A DOCTOR GETS SICK? THE NERVE. But his nurse assured me that he'd have no problem going along with this because of the added benefits it would give my heart (less stress, lower cholesterol, etc.).

So, this gastric bypass is starting to look like a "win-win" situation for me.

Now I just have to a) find a surgical group that performs this kind of surgery and b) get the insurance company to agree to cough up for it.

Oh? Is that all?

5 comments:

Aerten said...

Excellent news! One of my sisters-in-law did the gastric bypass thing three or four years ago. She's feeling great and looking good!

JoyZeeBoy said...

Thanks! The whole thing seems to smack of "Kismet" what with the plethora of front page articles and editorials in the NYTimes about it and me being in exactly the right place at exactly the right time with the right doctor.

Surgery doesn't scare me. My quadruple bypass will be 4 years old on March 2nd and my bilateral endarectomies (the twins) will be 3 this fall.

Bev Sykes said...

Wow. I'm very impressed with this decision. It's not an option for me right now-I have to conquer the obsession first, but having lost 10 lbs with the flu this week gave me a good start!

Alan said...

Our friend David had bariatric surgery week before last and Ron and I went with him to the hospital to be his family in the waiting room during the operation. It went well and he is doing fine. He seems to be coping well with the Major changes in eating habits that having the surgery forces on you. (and he has lost like 30 pounds in two weeks and is ecstatic at fitting in clothes that had become too tight Years ago) David has serious gout and sleep apnea and decided to go for the surgery cuz he was in so much pain. Keep us posted and my prayers for you.

a

JoyZeeBoy said...

Thanks Bev & Alan. I'm pretty sure it's the "next right thing" to do for myself in recovery.

As you know, these days I'm an old hand at adjusting my addictions to current realities. God willing, the craving will pass as easily as smoking did, 4 years ago this week, and drinking did on March 8, 1998.