if your phone rang late at night and it was a guy who had shined your shoes for you when you worked on Wall Street 20 years ago?
Well, if you're me, you let him go into voicemail and go to bed wondering what he wants. So that's what I did.
I spoke with him today and he wants to have dinner. At first he wanted to do it tonight. I managed to put him off until tomorrow. Yes, he's gay. We established that 2 decades ago. And he's Brazilian and he was adorable then (well, so was I!). But he's been in a relationship for 15 years now, so I know it's not about sex. I told him my Wall Street days were long finished and that I made a living, barely, as a legal secretary now. That didn't seem to deter him. I finally said I couldn't be out late because I had to catch a bus back to New Jersey -- and he offered me the use of he and his partner's guest room tomorrow night.
Well, anyone who went to all the trouble of a) calling my ex and getting screamed at by him and b) looking in the White Pages in New York AND New Jersey until he found me, obviously is someone who really wants to see me.
I just sent an e-mail to my sobriety counselor bemoaning all this and wondering, aloud, "why God is doing this to me?"
After all, I didn't get sober to have a life. I got sober to be miserable until I die which, some days, can't come soon enough to suit me.
But I've agreed to see him. And so I shall. I really have no excuse for turning this into something negative (aside from being an alcoholic -- because that's just what we do).
Seriously, though .... if someone dropped out of your sky after 20 years... what would you do?
4 comments:
What you have done it sounds like. Take the date and talk to him and Find Out what he wants. If it proves to be something you don't want anything to do with, you can always thank him for a lovely dinner and walk away.
My own social/emotional life is very chaotic this week and I have been thinking a great deal about the relationships we middle aged fags form and pursue apart from our primary partnerships....what that has to do with this blast from you past I've yet to reckon, but it is interesting.
Here's what I did... after nearly THIRTY-FIVE years, one of the guys I went to grade school with emailed me about some reunion he was organizing for the class. Did I think he was insane? Yes. Did I write back? Yes. Did I eventually go to the reunion? Yes. Was I concerned that it was going to be as horrible as I remembered grade school to be? Yes. Did I have a good time anyway? Oh, HELL yes!!
Don't bother trying to predict the future based on a past that mostly made up anyway. :) Go have a good time.
aerten has given you excellent advice! We will all be waiting with bated breath for a report!
Read today's blog for more info regarding "weirdness" in my life this week.
I'm with you, Alan. Things are beaucoups strange out there.
But I'll do the dinner and see what's up.
God, I hate change.
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