I told my buddy Steve Schalchlin yesterday that I'd had a "blinding flash" moment in the morning whilst commuting into Manhattan.
Believe me, I'm no St. Paul. I'm much nicer than that self-serving, woman-hating, closet-case ever was. But the thought did come out of the blue. "Wouldn't it be nice if someone gay could get a message to Ted Haggard that said, basically, 'a) God doesn't make garbage, b) God doesn't make mistakes and c) God loves you just the way you are.'?"
I think he might really need to hear a message like that right about now because I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that he is currently as sequestered under wraps as a Gitmo detainee by a bunch of ChristoFascists intent on brainwashing the queerness right out of him, come Hell or High Water!
And you can bet your bippy that they're looking at or listening to every letter, postcard, e-mail, and phone call that comes his way. Nothing is getting through to him uncensored.
Which is why, of course, that I would love to find a way around all that.
When I found out that James Dobson had abruptly resigned from the self-appointed ChristoFascist BrainWashing Committee, which had been hastily convened to save Teddy-Boy from the evil clutches of rampant Whoopie-Times, due to "previous commitments" or somesuchbullshit, the thought flashed through my mind, "Hey, maybe Teddy-Boy doesn't want to be brainwashed. Maybe he's relieved the whole thing is finally out there!"
Just a thought.
So, if any of you knows of a secure way to sneak a message to Ted Haggard, I'd be glad to hear about it!
Meanwhile, some of the talking heads on Fox News are coming completely unglued over the Democratic victories in the House and Senate. Neil Cavuto is practically foaming at the mouth that the stock market is on the verge of collapse and that it's the end of capitalism as we know and love it. There's even rampant Gore bashing vis a vis Chuck Schumer's suggestion to George Allen to do the gentlemanly thing and to step, graciously aside. They have their knickers in a twist because nobody immediately suggested to Gore that he should step aside (in Florida).
I have to admit, publicly, here and now, that I absolutely RELISH the thought of watching Fox News and checking out the Fox website every day for the NEXT TWO YEARS. There's absolutely nothing more amusing than watching the enemy run around like a junkyard dog after it's balls have been cut off.