Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Dr. Pancreas

If you're traveling to D.C. anytime soon you might find this to be of some use.

I took the day off yesterday for my thrice-yearly visit to my endocrinologist, whom I call Dr. Pancreas 'cause it sounds close to Dr. Pangloss, a character in Voltaire's "Candide" who preaches a philosophy of "All's for the best in this best of all possible worlds."

Dr. Pancreas took one look at me and instantly determined that the bellyful of gila monster venom I was shooting twice a day was having absolutely no effect on either my weight or my A1C, so he instantly ordered me to stop taking the stuff. This meant, of course, that I had to deal with MegaDrugCo, a wholly owned subsidiary of MyUselessHealthPlan, LLP, because I had just sent them some scrip to renew my prescription for a 90-day supply of the poison-pen injectors and I needed to stop them from sending it and billing me a bajillion dollars for same.

After wandering in voice-mail wildnerness for 20 minutes and pressing "Zero" 87 times before a human being finally came on the line, (Lydia LovelyVoice, "I didn't understand your last response. Let's try it again!" (ZERO.... ZERO, ZERO, ZERO, ZERO, ZERO).

So I nipped that catastrophe in the bud. No Byetta. Meanwhile I have about 300 disposable "sharps" which attach to the pens that I have no idea what to do with. I don't know any junkies who get their shit from their dealers in disposable pens. Keeping them is no use. If I ever have to go on insulin the needles are too fine to allow the insulin to pass through them.

After seeing the good Doctor I went down to Hamilton (where the post-office that had the anthrax scare is located) to go to the movies. I want to see the new Cate Blanchett/Elizabeth I movie (I'm a sucker for costume period-pieces). The theater was closed. It was too early (don't they open at dawn?) I got an early lunch (soup and a salad) at a nearby Bob Evans' (eschewing the greasy breakfast specials). I went back to the theater. It was going to be another hour before they opened.

I gave up and started for home. I made quick trips to Tarjay, El Banco de Coca Cola, Super Fresh and Blockbuster.

Okay, I admit it, I rented "Transformers." Okay, I admit it, it sucked unless you're an enormous fan of Shia LaBoeuf. I watched it. I napped. I had a light supper consisting mostly of some chicken. I yakked on the phone to a couple of other recovering drunks. I turned in around 9:30.

Not much of a day, really, unless you count the visit to Doctor Pancreas. The good news is, I don't have to see him again until February!


Bev Sykes said...

A day without catastrophe is a good day, in my book.

BTW, sorry about today's journal entry. I'm trying to light a fire under you know who, who is being non-compliant in helping me get HIM publicity. Sigh.

JoyZeeBoy said...

No need to apologize. And I totally understand your plight, of course.

I read the whole thing -- I had no idea he'd published a hard-cover edition with added material.

But we both know how he operates. When something is over, it's really over. Even the so-called love for a child who has outgrown his usefulness as source material. And yes, I really believe that. As surely as I believe that the beloved redhead from the past continues to exist in memory only because of the emotional kick and self-aggrandizing public relations value he provides.

People only exist to our acquaintance in the sense of any value they may contribute to him personally. It never occurs to him to be of value to others. People are beneath his dignity and he suffers them with silent scorn.

Bev Sykes said...

Sigh. I know you're right.

JoyZeeBoy said...

I'm sorry to be so harsh. I wish things hadn't turned out the way they did. Again, as you know, I believed the illusion for a long time.

But it was just an illusion. A heartbreaking illusion -- for many who were involved, and not just you and I.

Alan said...

wow. and I thought I was the one who was so over the top bitching about him the blogosphere ;)

re Dr. Pangloss-- I remember watching with Joel a musical adaptation of Candide and thinking Dr. Pancreas an insipid, insufferable twit...

...which I suppose could as easily apply to ddgfbfgf....

(GD & R)

Anonymous said...

What a crappy day you had. Hope today was better.
Congratulations on the Thoughtful blogger award from Bev.
Great blog you have, and I like your writing style.

JoyZeeBoy said...

Thanks, Chris! I appreciate the comments.

Um, and what's a Thoughtful Blogger Award and where did Bev mention it? (notice how I avoided asking Bev about this directly, in keeping with our family tradition of communication via triangulation in which we never address the person directly but, rather, speak through third-parties. It makes life far more interesting ... and stressful!)

Oh, and I'll return the compliment in the next day or so with a spin over to your blog.

I like dog-people. I like cat-people, too. I like critter-people.

Bev Sykes said...

Re "thoughtful blogger award" you'll have to read my journal for Friday.