Friday, November 21, 2008

I Knew There'd Be Trouble...

... the first time I addressed a community college law enforcement psych class in Delaware, sometime in 1973. The question was asked of me:


Excuse me? "Decide?" Decide what? To admit it? Recently. Decide that I knew? Oh, it was the First Grade (when I knew I wanted to be naked and alone with our school bus driver ... I just didn't know why I wanted that. At least, not yet.)

Decide? What a ridiculous question. As though anyone in their right mind, circa 1972, would suddenly and magically "decide" to be gay. I might as well decide to have tuberculosis or leprosy, or "decide" to piss off most people by being something they were afraid of ... or, more to the point, were afraid that they might catch it... or even worse, afraid that they already "had it."

But over the years, as I've mentioned here before, I came to realize, painfully slowly, that the reason most people conclude that there was a decision to be made was, because, well... ahem, how do I put this delicately? Oh, right, I can't. They conclude that I decided BECAUSE THEY HAD DECIDED TO NOT BE GAY, that's why.

Look. You can argue Kinsey's statistics forever. Shave a percentage point here, pad another one there. But the inescapable, fundamental reality he discovered is this:

Human sexuality is, for over 90% of the population, fluid. In other words, the vast majority of people either swing, or they're easily capable of it.

Only a teensy percentage of the human race has their sexuality written in stone. Oh, lucky me. Oh, lucky them.

I can't even think straight (and never have.) There are some who can't even think gay.

But lots and lots of people can think gay, but choose not to. And lots and lots of other people can think straight, but choose not to. Then there are schmucks like me, in the remaining 4% or so on the gay side, who've never been fascinated by breasts, have never wondered what a woman's sexual package looks like, have never imagined being alone and naked with one of them.

And there's another 4% or so, all the way over there somewhere, who are my mirror image, and have never given a moments thought to the joys of same-sex attraction.

That just leaves 92% of the human race, perverts all, who have no standards whatsoever and who would sleep with just about anything that walked in the door. You know who I'm talking about. YOU, you freak!

p.s. visit this website to determine which kind of Blogger YOU are!

Here's mine:

The analysis indicates that the author of is of the type:
I. ESTJ - The Guardians

The organizing and efficient type. They are especially attuned to setting goals and managing available resources to get the job done. Once they've made up their mind on something, it can be quite difficult to convince otherwise. They listen to hard facts and can have a hard time accepting new or innovative ways of doing things.

The Guardians are often happy working in highly structured work environments where everyone knows the rules of the job. They respect authority and are loyal team players.

Yeah, that's me. Pig-headed and loyal.

1 comment:

Bev Sykes said...

If they'd thrown in a potted palm, they'd have nailed it:

The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don´t like to plan ahead - they are always in risk of exhausting themselves.

The enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation - qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.