Tuesday, September 16, 2008

All Is Forgiven

I worked up the nerve to call Lehman Brothers today and actually got through to a human being. A human being who put me through to another human being in the Human Resources Department (or what's left of it).

That nice lady looked me up in the system and, indeed, there I was, in all of my

FULLY VESTED
FULLY FUNDED
FULLY PROTECTED

glory. She then gave me a magical 800 number (well, an 866 number) at Fidelity devoted solely to people like me who had worked at Lehman. I called the number and got a bright, young, lad.

He reiterated what the lady in HR had told me. But he added some stuff. First he fixed me up with on-line access to my retirement information. But then he told me that when I retire (assuming it's age 65) I'll collect:

$849.95 per month

for the rest of my life.

On top of my social security.

And 401-ks.

I'M RICH!! RICH, I TELL YOU!!!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! (Hey, it's about $600 more per month than I thought I was gonna get.)

So even though Lehman is in the crapper, and even though the unhappiest years of my life were spent on Wall Street, it wasn't a total loss.

That $850 a month will be some blood money I'll be happy to take.

2 comments:

~ Sil in Corea said...

That surely is good news! I hope it comes right out of the "skimmer's" bank account. By all that's right, it should! :-)

JoyZeeBoy said...

Ironically, there have been no public pronouncements by, or announcements about, the skimmer.

He's keeping a profile lower than whale crap at the bottom of the sea.

The stock (and I had a couple of shares of that, too) is trading at 14 cents a share. That's down from like 78 bucks a share a year or two ago.

Things is bad all over, ~Sil.

-R