Friday, December 15, 2006

A Minor Annoyance

They put one lousy stitch in my mouth to hold the flap of skin in place where my recently removed tooth used to reside. I was told that it would somehow or other "magically" disappear within a few days. That was Monday. Now it's Friday. And what had been a minor annoyance to my tongue, should it accidentally wander over that way, has turned into a major pain, no matter what I do.

It seems to have grown, too. Before it was just a single, stiff thread that sort of poked out of the hole. Now it's like having a whole ball of twine over on the side of my mouth. I guess because the swelling has gone down so much, thus exposing more of the stitch material.

I have a feeling that I'll be doing a little "at home" oral surgery when I get home tonight.

I love how they say things like "don't play with it" or "don't poke things in there." Threatening you with all kinds of dire consequences, if you do. Like infection. Well, I already have an infection, how can I get more? Besides, you can't kid me with that threat. Everybody knows there's no filthier cesspool on the face of the earth than the human mouth. It's not going to get magically filthier if I stick a small pair of scissors, which I've previously bathed in disinfectant, followed by sterile water, in there.

I'm such a good patient. You know why they call us "patients"? Because we have to be so friggin' patient, that's why.

There's also a reason why they say a doctor "practices" medicine.

Maybe I should practice a little patience and wait to see if it falls out.

But knowing me, I probably won't.


Bev Sykes said...

how about calling the dentist's office and mentioning it?

JoyZeeBoy said...

I did.

They absolutely, positively forbad me to touch it.

Naturally I surgically removed it the minute I got home.

Don't worry, I doused the tiny scissors with alcohol, then peroxide, before I snipped the cord. It came out in a thrice.

Bev Sykes said...

You're the kind of patient that makes doctors go grey. LOL.

JoyZeeBoy said...

Puhleeze, I'm the kind of patient that keep doctors in business.

A wreck with a health plan.