Flabbergasted!

I really shouldn't be surprised, but I am.

It is so abundantly clear to me now exactly what sort of political machines Hillary and Bill Clinton are. Apparently the deal (with the devil and with each other) decades ago, when they first met, was that Bill would get to be president first and Hill would get her shot at it second.

And she is NOT about to call it quits. Not without taking somebody prisoner. Like the candidate presumptive.

I guess she really thinks that she's going to bargain with him from a position of strength. For what? The Vice-Presidency? Probably. She'd make a shitty Supreme Court Justice. She's way too polarizing and way too flammable for that. But to allow her, and that skirt-chasing bum husband of hers, to sit at the table of power.... again... would be unconscionable.

I feel it in my gut. If she became vice-president she would spend 4 years looking for ways to subtly sabotage President Obama's chances for re-election, so that she could snatch the office away from him. I believe she's just that desperate.

Now, to give her her due, she has clearly broken through the glass ceiling to the White House. In future elections it simply won't be important what the sex or color of the candidates are. The Democratic Party has done this, not the Republican Party (the party of Lincoln, as they love to point out).

But I hope that Senator Obama has the sense to realize that, rather than being an asset, she would be a toxic presence in his administration.

Other than that, he could select the Jackass as his running mate, and I'd still vote for him.

So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehn, now get the F* out of here!

Okay, it's official. Hillary is now the creature that will not die. Most of us were kind of banking on and hoping that tonight, at her "press conference" here in New York, she would graciously throw in the towel and offer her support to Barry.

But, nooooooooooooa. According to the latest reports, her spokesperson (and all round nut job) Terry McAuliffe, is saying that she will NOT bow out tonight, leaving open the probability that she's still horse-trading with the Obama people for a Supreme Court nomination and the total assumption of her leftover campaign debt in exchange for her gracefully throwing in the towel sometime later in the week.

Under NO circumstances should Barack offer Hillary the Vice-Presidency.

Anything that keeps her away from the presidency at this point will be okay in my book. I'm afraid that I've started to side with the pundits (including the author of the anti-Bill article in this month's Vanity Fair - and the spouse of former Clinton White House Spokesperson, Dee Dee Myers - Todd Purdham) who think that the farther away from the White House we can keep the Clintons, the better off the nation will be.

Hill and Bill are too enamored of power. Not only that but they're starting to act and sound like the Bush's, and acting as though they are ENTITLED to occupy positions of power; that the nation owes them something.

Nobody in Washington, from the top down or the bottom up, is "entitled" to anything in terms of an elected office. All elected officials serve at the discretion of the electorate. This is a dictatorship of the proletariat, in it's purest sense of the words. When we tossed George III out on his royal ass it was with the understanding that with him went the ancient idea of some sort of "divine right" of Kings or Princes or Presidents or Senators or Representatives.

The People Rule and the People Reign (as much as Dick Cheney might like to disagree).

When President Obama is sworn in next January, I hope he keeps that in mind.

And the Clintons can join Dubya down in Texas for some good old-fashioned, shit-kickin', crow eatin'.

I won't miss any of the crazy-assed, power-hungry, mofos.

Bush, Hillary, Dynasties & War

There's no avoiding it. We are a warlike people. Three-quarters of the country couldn't wait to jump on the Iraq bandwagon when it became pretty clear, pretty early, that we were not going to find Osama bin Laden anytime soon. We sure as hell knew where Saddam hid out. In one of his pleasure palaces, which you could easily see from one of our expensive war satellites in outer space.

We were pissed. We wanted to punish SOMEBODY, ANYBODY, for the events of 9/11. And we couldn't punish the idiots who wanted to go home to Allah. They'd already gone home to Allah. Or someplace. They weren't here anymore, that was for sure.

Saddam was handy and perfect. We still had a grudge against him ever since Shrub's daddy, King Wimp the First, failed to order Stormin' Norman to take Baghdad using the same scorched earth policy which General Sherman had once, thoroughly, used against the South. We like scorched earth policy. Most of us secretly wonder, sometimes, why we can't just nuke the entire Middle East back to the Stone Age.

And so we went to war.

However, there was a problem with this. Other than a bloodthirsty electorate (and a cash-starved defense establishment which the Bush family owed plenty), we didn't really have anything to recommend actually going to war.

But dynasties like war. War perpetuates patriotic fervor. And patriotic fervor forgives and adores dictatorship (see: "Nazi Germany - 1932 - 1945"). And patriotic fervor, here in the USofA, loves (or loved) George W. Bush. He is smarmy. He has a rich daddy. He avoided dying during war himself by having his rich daddy arrange it.

In short, he is everything that most Americans want, jealously, to be. An arrogant, booze-swilling, drunken-frat boy at an Ivy League School, without a $$$$ care in the world, and a dad who can "fix" everything because he has really cool rich friends who'd do anything for him.

Right?

So Dubya's on the one hand. On the other we have Billary. I have nothing against her, except that she's married to Douchebag and to be honest I've never seen bigger politicians in my life, in the nastiest sense of the word. They'd tell anybody anything in order to get elected. And have. (I did not inhale. I did not have sex with that woman. Who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?)

It still smarts to remember exactly how they threw their gay constituency under the bus way back when.

The Bushs' suck but then, so do the Clintons.

So I don't like politicians because they'll start wars just for the fun of it (and to make their rich friends even richer), say anything, toss their friends aside at the drop of a hat and live to see their closest relatives inherit their jobs.

I want Bush out.

I want Hillary out.

I want Barack Obama for President.

Pennsylvania Polka!

Oh, you must see this. It's the "Mormon Polygamists Wives Calendar" for 2008. It's so wrong, but it feels so right. Click HERE right now.

Oh, alright, on to Pennsylvania. Most people don't think about Pennsylvania very much but if they do at all they usually think about Punxatawney Phil, the Philly Phanatic, artery-hardenin' Cheesesteaks, the Pittsburgh Steelers, New Year's Mummers Parades and Independence Hall (where something happened, a long, long time ago).

That about sums up what most folks know about Pennsylvania.

Today, however, the eyes of an anxious nation are fixed upon the Keystone State (Misnomer. Pennsylvania is one of a handful of Commonwealths (not states) here in the east, the others being Massachusetts and Virginia).

Hillary and Barack are locked in a death-grip in PA today. They've been flinging televised nasty-grams at each other for the past week (and I got to enjoy them because I live in the no-man's-land between Philly and New York and so I get all the stations from both markets). It got ugly. But, to their credit, for the last 2 days things have lightened up... slightly... between them.

Hillary will most likely carry the primary (but not by much). But the thing to watch, so I'm told, is the popular vote. For as goes the vote, so go the superdelegates you've heard so much about.

Frankly, I wish the whole thing was over. One thing you can count on us Democrats to do in any election year is to eat our own young.

I want the war in Iraq to be over, now. I want universal health care, now.

Oh, and I'd really like to have a national law that people must purchase automobile insurance NOT on the basis of how old they are, or where they live, but, rather, on how many miles they drive every year. It seems to me that people who drive a bajillion miles every year should pay more than the little old lady who only takes Bessie out for a spin every Saturday to pick up groceries.

Next down the wish-list is the usual gay agenda stuff; repeal of DADT, universal legality of gay partnerships (call 'em whatever the hell you want to call 'em, I just want 'em to be in full parity with what the Hets got) and for everybody to be really nice to each other.

Like that'll happen. Like any of that'll happen.

It won't happen.

Why do I bother to care?