POPCORN!

I went to the movies yesterday afternoon. Originally I'd intended to see the Angelina Jolie thing, "Changeling" but I wimped out at the last minute because, you see, well... ahem, Kevin Smith has a new movie out.

Kevin Smith is a movie director and local (JoyZee) boy. He lives over in Red Bank, near the shore, and has a video store there. He shot his breakthrough indie, "Clerks" over there. And "Clerks II" and (my personal favorite) "Dogma." And others. I feel that it's important to support your local artist(s), so I plunked my money down at the AMC Googoolplex in Hamilton yesterday afternoon and bought a ticket to see "Zack and Miri Make a Porno." It stars Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks. The supporting cast consists mostly of the usual characters from Smith's rep company. Even Jason Mewes, who usually plays the foulmouthed horndog "Jay" of Jay and Silent Bob (Smith) plays a totally different type of character in this one (except he's still horny) ... and does a "full-monty" near the end that's well worth the price of admission.

I recommend it IF you're a die-hard Smith fan. Otherwise you'll be put off by the never-ceasing stream of obscenities and boob-shots.

Maybe I'll see Angelina today.

But here's the real news. I stopped by the concession stand (which I've avoided since my surgery in August) and, gasp, bought:



I didn't go ape-shit. I bought a small bag. And no sodas (carbonation is forbidden for now and all eternity) -- I got a bottled water instead.

I enjoyed that small bag of popcorn more than I've enjoyed anything else since my dietary habits were forced to change. Popcorn was the one thing I've been craving the most. There is nothing more satisfying to me than scrunching down in a theater seat and enjoying a movie with a nice bag of popcorn.

Life (and movies) is good. Are good? Oh, screw it. I'm a happy puppy today.

40 - Finally

It's official. I've now lost 40 pounds since my surgery on August 11th.

Here's the skinny on all that. My nutritionist (perky Stacy) wants me to get back to my college weight, which was about 4 pounds. I was 24 when I went to college (Viet Nam, the Navy and several other hiccups occurred along the way) and I had a metabolism in those days. Hence, no matter what I poured down my throat (Burger King, Booze, Boy Butter) it didn't stick around. In fact, it didn't stick to anything, not even my ribs. Those were the good old days.

Nowdays, of course, I can LOOK at a piece of pecan pie and gain 5 pounds.

But those days are over. No more "pieces" of anything. From now on, it'll be "bites", if even that.

Still, I think that trying to get back to my college weight (okay, it was 190 pounds) might be a little unreasonable. I was kind of hoping to get back to my weight around age 30... ish. Say, 210 or 220. In which case I only have to lose another 20 or 30 pounds and I'll be done. But to get to 190 I'll have to drop another 50 pounds and that sounds way too much like a year-long project to me.

People ask me if I crave anything. No, I answer, because no matter what I ingest (and it's still mostly liquids) I fill up after two swallows. My new tummy only holds about 4 ounces of anything.

Well, that's not completely true. There is one thing I crave above all else. It's not prime rib or pork chops or baked potatoes or asparagus with hollandaise sauce.

It's popcorn.

Not microwave popcorn, either, but corn popped in a big pot on the stove and then smothered in melted "I Can't Believe JoyZeeBoy Thinks This Crap is Butter."

It's worse when I think about going to the movies and not being able to have a 10 pound bag of popcorn cooked in God-Only-Knows-What, dripping with crankcase leavings and washed down by a Bladder-Buster of my favorite beverage, 64 ounces of Diet Coke which is higher in caffeine to offset the loss of sugar -- wasn't that thoughtful of the Coca-Cola people?

So, you see, I don't really have any cravings.

At least not until I lose another 20 pounds. Or 50, if that Nazi Nutritionist of mine, Stacy, gets her way.