Blame Bev.
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Depends. Single gifts get wrapped. Multiple gifts get wrapped AND bagged.
2. Real tree or artificial?
Okay, now starts the rant on indoor safety. GET THAT FIREHAZARD OUT OF HERE. Artificial.
3. When do you put up the tree?
Put it up? Didn’t I do my part by merely buying it? Now you want me to put it up? The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
4. When do you take the tree down?
If it’s in the box the day before, it’ll still be in the box the day after – n’est pas?
5. Do you like eggnog?
Darn tootin’! Unfortunately, booze is out, and so is cholesterol. Bye, bye egg-nog.
6. Favorite gift received as a child?
Erector sets. I loved ‘em.
7. Hardest person to buy for?
My ex was the hardest person to shop for. Actually, anyone who is passive-aggressive and won’t come right out and tell you what they want. I HATE people like that. I theorize that the only reason people really have for not telling you what they want is so they can blame you later for the crappy gifts you give 'em.
8. Easiest person to buy for?
Me. Ask me what I want and I’ll fax or e-mail you a list to choose from. Better still, just check my name on Amazon.com. I have a wish list there at all times.
9. Do you have a nativity scene?
Nah. While I love the message Jesus delivered, I believe it’s a crime that we deified him.
10. Mail or e-mail Christmas cards?
Christmas cards. Nothing says lovin like a card. I try to pick cards with a message that conveys how I’m feeling that year. This year’s card was a sort of Zen message about “being that which the world is missing.” It made sense when I bought them.
12. Favorite Christmas movie?
A Christmas Carol – the 1951 English version with Alistair Sim.
13. When do you start shopping?
Right after Thanksgiving.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
Yes. Booze. Booze gifts get re-gifted.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Turkey, stuffing and pumpkin pie.
16. Lights on the tree?
The tree is pre-lighted. Thankyewverymuch.
17. Favorite Christmas song?
“Santa Baby," the Eartha Kitt version.
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
Every year I drive to my sister and brother-in-law’s place in Delaware. That’s where my father’s clan gathers for the holiday. I love it. It's not that big a schlep -- about an hour and a quarter each way, turnpike driving all the way.
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?
You’re kidding, right?
20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
A fancy-schmancy ornament I picked up about five years ago at the Museum of Modern Art store on East 54th Street.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Morning. It’s more “Christmasy.”
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?
Crowds and holiday commuters on the trains. They all walk around the east side of Manhattan, especially around Rockefeller Center and it’s ubiquitous tree, with both feet planted firmly in mid-air and totally unaware of how they’re blocking traffic.
23. Favorite ornament theme or color?
I got a collection of great ornaments at the MOMA store that are pretty gay. Glass red ruby slippers, a Kodak camera, etc. Tchotchkes like that.
24. What do you want for Christmas this year?
Got it. I stayed sober for another year and got drenched in love every day.
25. Describe how you would celebrate the holidays if it was totally up to you and money was not a factor.
Fly my family and friends overseas and celebrate ‘CHRISTMAS IN TAHITI’! Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about.
Showing posts with label meme. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meme. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
MEME - September 28, 2009
I'm too lazy to come up with anything on this Yom Kippur (the office is as a dead as a dodo), so I'm stealing this meme from my friend Bev
1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Gas. We use entirely too much gas.
2. Do you miss being a child?
Nope. Not a single, solitary part of it. Although I do act out childishly at times – and entertainment-wise I’m stuck in the 6th Grade (still love horror movies and amusement parks).
3. Chore you hate the most?
Cleaning the bathroom.
4. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
What’s romance?
5. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
I would prevent my mother from meeting my father.
6. Name of your first grade teacher?
Some unfortunate, less than 30 year old, nun. She had a roomful of screaming 6 year olds to contend with. I think she wound up having a nervous breakdown. I don’t blame her.
7. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Exactly what I’m doing.
8. What did you want to be when you grew up?
I never had a plan. I grew up in an alcoholic family. We weren’t big on planning, so I never learned how.
9. How many colleges did you attend?
One.
10. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
It was the next one in the rotation.
11. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
I sense that they’ve dropped a couple of cents a gallon recently. That’s a good thing.
12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Here we go again.
13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
I never remember the last thought. I drop off pretty quickly.
14. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Bill Wilson.
15. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
No, but I have been crashed into.
16. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
Yes. I would become a professional recovering alcoholic and spend all of my time attending committee meetings and answering phones at call centers. I would become a Spiritual Star. This is why God never lets me win the lottery. I still have a lot of growing to do, and a lot of humility to obtain, before I’m ready for a life of leisurely recovery.
17. Get up early or sleep in?
The alarm goes off at 4:35 a.m. every weekday. On weekends my internal alarm let’s me sleep in until at least 5:30.
18. What is your favorite cartoon character?
Bullwinkle J. Moose.
19. Favorite thing to do at night with a guy/girl?
Heh. You’re kidding, right?
20. When did you first start feeling old?
At 25. I sobbed through the entire year. I was crushed at being an entire quarter of a century old.
21. Favorite lunch meat?
Smoked turkey.
22. What do you get every time you go into WalMart?
What’s a WalMart? Is that like Sam’s Club? I always buy crap at Sam’s Club, which is why I limit my visits to Sam’s Club.
23. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
“Marriage” is a religious ritual, specifically designed to gussy-up the ancient businesslike matter at hand – the co-joining of wealth and property among, generally warring, factions. Personally, I’d like to see us adopt the European model, left to us by Napoleon; i.e. a lovely, but superfluous, religious ceremony followed by a trip to City Hall for the actual signing of the contracts.
24. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
I don’t have any secret vices, movie-wise. Certain movies I will always stop to watch while channel-surfing include: “2001 A Space Odyssey” and “Gosford Park”
25. What's your favorite drink?
Crystal Lite – Raspberry Ice. I luv that stuff.
26. Who from high school would you like to run in to?
Nobody. High school sucked and I’m glad it’s over.
27. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
101.5 in central NJ.
28. Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
Neither. “Mad Men”, “House”, “Fringe”, “American Dad” & “Lost.”
29. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Telling Rick Zimmerman that I didn’t love him. I did. That was my disease talking. That was 36 years ago and there isn’t a month that goes by that I don’t think about that.
30. Do you like the person that sits directly across from/next to you at work?
Kathy? Yes. She’s a pisser.
31. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purposes?
Only during training exercises in the Navy. The Navy was very big on firefighting skills – for everyone (including admirals).
32. Last book you finished reading?
“Sunnyside.”
33. Do you have a teddy bear?
Yes. Two. Both given to me while I was recuperating from my open-heart surgery in 2004. One’s brown, the other white. I love them both.
34. One thing you couldn't live without?
The internets.
35. Do you go to church?
Not since I gave up being a Catholic – well, not intentionally. I still get shanghaied once in awhile to weddings and funerals.
36. How old are you?
61
37. Can you take apart a motor, put it back together, and have no extra parts?
Ask me the same question regarding a PC.
38. Are you for or against the death penalty?
Against. If we, as a society, use it then we are, as a society, no better than the criminal we are using it against. Period.
39. If there is a God and you could ask him/her one question what would it be?
What the fuck were you thinking?
40. Do you think it’s possible that there is life on other planets?
I’m still awaiting proof that there’s intelligent life here.
1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Gas. We use entirely too much gas.
2. Do you miss being a child?
Nope. Not a single, solitary part of it. Although I do act out childishly at times – and entertainment-wise I’m stuck in the 6th Grade (still love horror movies and amusement parks).
3. Chore you hate the most?
Cleaning the bathroom.
4. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
What’s romance?
5. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
I would prevent my mother from meeting my father.
6. Name of your first grade teacher?
Some unfortunate, less than 30 year old, nun. She had a roomful of screaming 6 year olds to contend with. I think she wound up having a nervous breakdown. I don’t blame her.
7. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Exactly what I’m doing.
8. What did you want to be when you grew up?
I never had a plan. I grew up in an alcoholic family. We weren’t big on planning, so I never learned how.
9. How many colleges did you attend?
One.
10. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
It was the next one in the rotation.
11. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
I sense that they’ve dropped a couple of cents a gallon recently. That’s a good thing.
12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Here we go again.
13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
I never remember the last thought. I drop off pretty quickly.
14. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Bill Wilson.
15. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
No, but I have been crashed into.
16. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
Yes. I would become a professional recovering alcoholic and spend all of my time attending committee meetings and answering phones at call centers. I would become a Spiritual Star. This is why God never lets me win the lottery. I still have a lot of growing to do, and a lot of humility to obtain, before I’m ready for a life of leisurely recovery.
17. Get up early or sleep in?
The alarm goes off at 4:35 a.m. every weekday. On weekends my internal alarm let’s me sleep in until at least 5:30.
18. What is your favorite cartoon character?
Bullwinkle J. Moose.
19. Favorite thing to do at night with a guy/girl?
Heh. You’re kidding, right?
20. When did you first start feeling old?
At 25. I sobbed through the entire year. I was crushed at being an entire quarter of a century old.
21. Favorite lunch meat?
Smoked turkey.
22. What do you get every time you go into WalMart?
What’s a WalMart? Is that like Sam’s Club? I always buy crap at Sam’s Club, which is why I limit my visits to Sam’s Club.
23. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
“Marriage” is a religious ritual, specifically designed to gussy-up the ancient businesslike matter at hand – the co-joining of wealth and property among, generally warring, factions. Personally, I’d like to see us adopt the European model, left to us by Napoleon; i.e. a lovely, but superfluous, religious ceremony followed by a trip to City Hall for the actual signing of the contracts.
24. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
I don’t have any secret vices, movie-wise. Certain movies I will always stop to watch while channel-surfing include: “2001 A Space Odyssey” and “Gosford Park”
25. What's your favorite drink?
Crystal Lite – Raspberry Ice. I luv that stuff.
26. Who from high school would you like to run in to?
Nobody. High school sucked and I’m glad it’s over.
27. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
101.5 in central NJ.
28. Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
Neither. “Mad Men”, “House”, “Fringe”, “American Dad” & “Lost.”
29. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Telling Rick Zimmerman that I didn’t love him. I did. That was my disease talking. That was 36 years ago and there isn’t a month that goes by that I don’t think about that.
30. Do you like the person that sits directly across from/next to you at work?
Kathy? Yes. She’s a pisser.
31. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purposes?
Only during training exercises in the Navy. The Navy was very big on firefighting skills – for everyone (including admirals).
32. Last book you finished reading?
“Sunnyside.”
33. Do you have a teddy bear?
Yes. Two. Both given to me while I was recuperating from my open-heart surgery in 2004. One’s brown, the other white. I love them both.
34. One thing you couldn't live without?
The internets.
35. Do you go to church?
Not since I gave up being a Catholic – well, not intentionally. I still get shanghaied once in awhile to weddings and funerals.
36. How old are you?
61
37. Can you take apart a motor, put it back together, and have no extra parts?
Ask me the same question regarding a PC.
38. Are you for or against the death penalty?
Against. If we, as a society, use it then we are, as a society, no better than the criminal we are using it against. Period.
39. If there is a God and you could ask him/her one question what would it be?
What the fuck were you thinking?
40. Do you think it’s possible that there is life on other planets?
I’m still awaiting proof that there’s intelligent life here.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Meme du Jour
Courtesy of my friend Bev over at Funny the World, comes this meme du jour:
1. What color is your toothbrush?
Blue and white (it's electrified!)
2. Name one person who made you smile today.
My 12-Step sponsor, Luke.
3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
This.
5. What is your favorite candy bar?
Payday. It's got nuts.
6. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Yes. And before you ask, it was a straight strip club -- I was still working on Wall Street at the time and it was considered part of my job to "entertain" clients. So shut up.
7. What is the last thing you said aloud
"What is the last thing you said aloud." My lips move when I read.
8. What is your favorite ice cream?
Hands down, Butter Pecan.
9. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Coffee. I'm having it now.
10, Do you like your wallet?
I do. It's a Coach. I've had it for about 4 years, but I've had the same model of Coach wallet for about 25 years. It's a tri-fold. It's perfect.
11, What was the last thing you ate?
A turkey and cheese on whole wheat.
12, Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Probably. I'm on a shoe-buying binge. The old ones are getting disgusting.
13, The last sporting event you watched?
I watched the Yankees get their asses handed to them by Cleveland yesterday afternoon, but I turned it off after the third inning.
14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?
Just plain, preferably with butter. Just like my hero, Bev.
15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?
I don't "do" text.
16. Ever go camping?
Yes. Every where from Baxter State Park in Maine (where the Appalachian Trail begins) to the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia. I actually like camping.
17, Do you take vitamins daily?
Yes. Centrum Silver plus a Biotin pill and a B-12 sublingual.
18, Do you go to church every Sunday?
For what? Look, let's get this straight. I believe in God, I just don't believe in YOUR God. Okay?
19, Do you have a tan?
Nah.
20,Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?
No. I'm an equal-opportunity vomiter.
21, Do you drink your soda with a straw?
Soda is out because of carbonation. I drink a lot of Crystal Lite.
22, What did your last text message say?
I don't "do" text.
23, What are you doing tomorrow?
Work.
25, Look to your left, what do you see?
The window looking south towards Peddie School. It's a nice view.
26, What color is your watch?
Black band, stainless case, black face with white numerals.
27, What do you think of when you hear Australia?
"Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" and Olivia Newton-John. I'm pretty gay.
29, Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
I don't "do" fast food.
30. What is your favorite number?
Whichever number will cause me to win MegaMillions.
31. Who’s the last person you talked to on the phone?
My friend Richard T. He called last night around 7:30 p.m.
32. Any plans today?
Yup. A 12-Step meeting in Plainsboro, NJ, then maybe a quick trip to Sam's Club.
33. How many states have you lived in?
Seven. In chronological order: Delaware, California, Tennessee, Maryland, Washington (State), New York and New Jersey.
34. Biggest annoyance right now?
Summer traffic on Friday afternoons on the NJ Turnpike (does EVERYONE in New York City have a beach house down the Jersey shore????)
35, Last song listened to?
"I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. It's ubiquitous these days. I like his voice so I hope he doesn't become a "one-hit wonder."
36. Can you say the alphabet backwards?
Bwahahahahahahahahahaha. No.
37. Do you have a maid service clean your house?
Only when we rent a beach house. I don't want foreigners to know how we Americans really live.
38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
My Jack Purcell blue canvas sneakers. I would wear them to work if I could.
39. Are you jealous of anyone?
No. It's a pointless waste of energy based, primarily, on self-pity.
40. Is anyone jealous of you?
I would hope not. See 39, above.
41. Do you love anyone?
Yes. Dozens. Am I "in love" with anyone? No.
42. Do any of your friends have children?
Yup. My friends seem to fall into two categories, either "Scorched Earth" or "Be Fruitful and Multiply", but almost nothing in between.
43. What do you usually do during the day?
Oh, blog, read other blogs, blog some more, cop an attitude when asked to actually "work", blog some more, read some more blogs...
44, Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
No. Wow. That's a change. I don't hate my ex anymore. I wonder when that happened?
45. Do you use the word ‘hello’ daily?
Yes. Part of my duties include answering phones.
46. What color is your car?
"Arrest Me Red."
47. Do you like cats?
I'd better or my friend Jan would stop talking to me.
48. Are you thinking about someone right now
Yes. My friend Jan.
49, Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Are you kidding? I live about 20 miles from Six Flags Great Adventure -- I LOVE bodacious roller coasters and Six Flags has got 'em. But the crowds can be overwhelming.
50. How did you get your worst scar?
It's about 12" long and runs down the inside of my left forearm. It's where they harvested a vein (and they were clearly in a hurry when they did it) during my quadruple-bypass surgery five years ago last month. That scar is a constant reminder to me of how badly I used to treat myself and how lucky I am to be alive today.
1. What color is your toothbrush?
Blue and white (it's electrified!)
2. Name one person who made you smile today.
My 12-Step sponsor, Luke.
3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
This.
5. What is your favorite candy bar?
Payday. It's got nuts.
6. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Yes. And before you ask, it was a straight strip club -- I was still working on Wall Street at the time and it was considered part of my job to "entertain" clients. So shut up.
7. What is the last thing you said aloud
"What is the last thing you said aloud." My lips move when I read.
8. What is your favorite ice cream?
Hands down, Butter Pecan.
9. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Coffee. I'm having it now.
10, Do you like your wallet?
I do. It's a Coach. I've had it for about 4 years, but I've had the same model of Coach wallet for about 25 years. It's a tri-fold. It's perfect.
11, What was the last thing you ate?
A turkey and cheese on whole wheat.
12, Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Probably. I'm on a shoe-buying binge. The old ones are getting disgusting.
13, The last sporting event you watched?
I watched the Yankees get their asses handed to them by Cleveland yesterday afternoon, but I turned it off after the third inning.
14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?
Just plain, preferably with butter. Just like my hero, Bev.
15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?
I don't "do" text.
16. Ever go camping?
Yes. Every where from Baxter State Park in Maine (where the Appalachian Trail begins) to the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia. I actually like camping.
17, Do you take vitamins daily?
Yes. Centrum Silver plus a Biotin pill and a B-12 sublingual.
18, Do you go to church every Sunday?
For what? Look, let's get this straight. I believe in God, I just don't believe in YOUR God. Okay?
19, Do you have a tan?
Nah.
20,Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?
No. I'm an equal-opportunity vomiter.
21, Do you drink your soda with a straw?
Soda is out because of carbonation. I drink a lot of Crystal Lite.
22, What did your last text message say?
I don't "do" text.
23, What are you doing tomorrow?
Work.
25, Look to your left, what do you see?
The window looking south towards Peddie School. It's a nice view.
26, What color is your watch?
Black band, stainless case, black face with white numerals.
27, What do you think of when you hear Australia?
"Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" and Olivia Newton-John. I'm pretty gay.
29, Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
I don't "do" fast food.
30. What is your favorite number?
Whichever number will cause me to win MegaMillions.
31. Who’s the last person you talked to on the phone?
My friend Richard T. He called last night around 7:30 p.m.
32. Any plans today?
Yup. A 12-Step meeting in Plainsboro, NJ, then maybe a quick trip to Sam's Club.
33. How many states have you lived in?
Seven. In chronological order: Delaware, California, Tennessee, Maryland, Washington (State), New York and New Jersey.
34. Biggest annoyance right now?
Summer traffic on Friday afternoons on the NJ Turnpike (does EVERYONE in New York City have a beach house down the Jersey shore????)
35, Last song listened to?
"I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. It's ubiquitous these days. I like his voice so I hope he doesn't become a "one-hit wonder."
36. Can you say the alphabet backwards?
Bwahahahahahahahahahaha. No.
37. Do you have a maid service clean your house?
Only when we rent a beach house. I don't want foreigners to know how we Americans really live.
38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
My Jack Purcell blue canvas sneakers. I would wear them to work if I could.
39. Are you jealous of anyone?
No. It's a pointless waste of energy based, primarily, on self-pity.
40. Is anyone jealous of you?
I would hope not. See 39, above.
41. Do you love anyone?
Yes. Dozens. Am I "in love" with anyone? No.
42. Do any of your friends have children?
Yup. My friends seem to fall into two categories, either "Scorched Earth" or "Be Fruitful and Multiply", but almost nothing in between.
43. What do you usually do during the day?
Oh, blog, read other blogs, blog some more, cop an attitude when asked to actually "work", blog some more, read some more blogs...
44, Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
No. Wow. That's a change. I don't hate my ex anymore. I wonder when that happened?
45. Do you use the word ‘hello’ daily?
Yes. Part of my duties include answering phones.
46. What color is your car?
"Arrest Me Red."
47. Do you like cats?
I'd better or my friend Jan would stop talking to me.
48. Are you thinking about someone right now
Yes. My friend Jan.
49, Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Are you kidding? I live about 20 miles from Six Flags Great Adventure -- I LOVE bodacious roller coasters and Six Flags has got 'em. But the crowds can be overwhelming.
50. How did you get your worst scar?
It's about 12" long and runs down the inside of my left forearm. It's where they harvested a vein (and they were clearly in a hurry when they did it) during my quadruple-bypass surgery five years ago last month. That scar is a constant reminder to me of how badly I used to treat myself and how lucky I am to be alive today.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Take the Accent Test!
| What American accent do you have? Your Result: Philadelphia Your accent is as Philadelphian as a cheesesteak! If you're not from Philadelphia, then you're from someplace near there like south Jersey, Baltimore, or Wilmington. if you've ever journeyed to some far off place where people don't know that Philly has an accent, someone may have thought you talked a little weird even though they didn't have a clue what accent it was they heard. | |
| The Midland | |
| The Inland North | |
| The South | |
| The Northeast | |
| Boston | |
| The West | |
| North Central | |
| What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz | |
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